I was reading some past issues of The Guardian today, which is a British national daily newspaper. I find it interesting to get an outside-the-U.S. perspective on what’s happening here and abroad, but that’s another story.
As I flipped through the online pages, I came across this article: “It’s time to get creative to wean Britain off the booze” written by Tim Dowling.
He mentions a recent UK study which noted a 25% rise in liver disease over the past decade. Tim then offers his own suggestions on how to eradicate binge drinking.
What caught my eye, because to be quite honest, Britain’s drinking problem really doesn’t hold my interest, was the subhead: “Critics say a minimum alcohol price may not curb binge drinking, so it’s time for something drastic … knitting”.
Yes, dear knitters, Tim’s fourth suggestion to keep drunkenness at bay is knitting!
4. Launch a campaign to encourage binge knitting
Knitting keeps your hands busy and your mind off booze, and its adherents claim it’s as addictive as crack cocaine. It could even become a new form of popular anti-social behaviour among young people, once they’re tired of all that purge drinking. Of course binge knitting may well have serious harmful effects of its own, but it’s going to be a long time before anybody stumps up the funding for a study.
Serious side effects? My dear Tim, you’ve no idea! Binge knitting has some very, very serious side effects. Here’s a few of my own:
Addiction #1 – Yarn P0rn
Immediately upon entering Lovelyarns I am overcome with an unhealthy desire to run my hands over every skein on the wall, in the cubbies and on the shelf. I am helpless to stop myself; must fondle yarn.
Have you fondled seen that 100% Mink (yes, mink) yarn in Lovelyarns? It’s called Mimi by Lotus Yarns. Sue has a sample of a scarf she made…heavenly (sigh)! And, don’t worry, the fibers result from brushing the animals. No minks are harmed to produce this yarn.
In the endless cycle of addiction, #1 leads right to:
Addiction #2 – Compulsive Buying Disorder
Must Buy Yarn! Even Tim admits that knitting is “…as addictive as crack cocaine”. I’m currently working on 3 projects. That should be keeping me busy enough. But, no, I can’t stop thinking about all the yarn Sue bought at TNNA. She says it’s already starting to show up at the shop. I’m going there tomorrow to teach a sock class. While I’m there I could just take a little peek at the new stash. I’m just going to
buy a little look. No purchasing, I swear! Thank God, Lovelyarns offers coupons in the newsletter.
Just how many skeins of sock yarn does one need? Shouldn’t you just knit what you have before buying more? You’ve filled how many plastic tubs with yarn and are heading out the door to buy more?
Yes, you can never have enough yarn. Did you see the recent Lovelyarns Facebook post….YUMM, Sparkles! Must get sparkles.
Elinor recently blogged about some features on Ravelry, one of which is the Queue. She mentioned that “…some people…use their queue as a dumping ground for every pattern they’ve ever liked…”.
Yup, that pretty much describes me. But, I am incapable of employing her helpful tips on how to curb that compulsion and take control by restoring initiating some order. And, I ask you, is a queue of 654 items really that unreasonable?
Obviously, Tim never heard of this (recent) time-honored tradition. There are Stitch-n-Bitches and there are Sip-n-Bitches. We knitters are a crafty lot. We can easily imbibe and never even drop a stitch (much). We’re multi-talented and are capable of multi-tasking. No help here for the anti-binge drinking cause.
I’m sure there’s a 12 Step program that could help curb binge knitting, but I really, really don’t want to be cured. I embrace my addiction, because I can control it.
Ooooh, look, UPS is making a delivery to Lovelyarns. Gotta go.